On Mentorship: Finding My Tribe
Orly:
Over the past few days — and longer in terms of our personal experiences — we’ve witnessed the ways in which the IABA community has fostered and nurtured a tradition of mentorship. On the first day of the symposium you mentioned in passing the idea of mentors in this community as godmothers, or godparents. Something about this metaphor feels very apt to me, precisely because it interlaces the personal and professional aspects of mentorship in a way that is sustainable, accountable, and caring.
For us — the SNS directive — it happened when we came back from Banff and started working together. And I came to Julie Rak after a couple of months of working together with Emma and Maria, to tell her about our emerging collaborative work as SNS, and she said “you’ve found your people.” To be honest, that’s exactly what it felt like.
Lisa: Look at what you’ve done together.
Orly:It’s because of the mentorship tradition that has been fostered and nurtured in this field, what you were talking about, this idea of godmothers. That really echoes for me here.
Lisa: For me it happened in West Virginia. Tim Dow Adams sponsored a residential summer seminar that was called “Getting a Life” after Julia Watson & Sidonie Smith’s edited book (Getting a Life: Everyday Uses of Autobiography, 1996 U Minnesota Press). The subtitle for the seminar was something like “Genders, Genres, and Bodies”. As a doctoral student, I had begun, through auto-ethnography and folklore studies, to think about who gets to tell a life. Self-authored stories of experience were on my mind, but I didn’t have the language for it. I hadn’t begun to do research outside folklore studies. I saw this picture of Julia (Watson) and Sid (Smith) wearing Sunday southern-belle type of hats, and they laughed at it later, (during the seminar) that the picture was supposed to be kind of ironic, and they felt that instead of Smith & Watson they were Smith & Wesson — these dangerous intellectual weapons of resistance and rebellion.
When I got there, I thought, this is my tribe. We met there for this life-writing blitz, and I felt like I kind of found family. I ended up spending a lot of time talking to everyone after that experience. Attending all the seminars, and the talks, and the workshops was the start, and I came out with so many notebooks and pads which curated all of the things that I didn’t know had a language, and are now my bible. I met people that were doing things so similar to what I was doing, but I was looking at things that I considered to be fiction or ethnography, and didn’t have the language to think of them in other terms.
It ended up in these very generous email exchanges, especially with Tim (Dow Adams) and with Julia (Watson). The highlight for me, at a very young stage in my life and career, was coming back five months later to West Virginia for an auto/biography conference, also sponsored by Tim & his department, with Julia as the keynote. During her keynote she quoted me from an email exchange we had, and she named me. I was recording her because I wanted to remember everything that she said, and when she said my name I thought, “oh my goodness, it’s kind of reciprocal”. I mean, I thought there was no way in the world that she could think of me as highly as I thought of her and all her work, but I also thought “wow, the acknowledgement”. It wasn’t just an email exchange; she was not just being kind and entertaining my messages, she was thinking about the things I was saying. I also remember how generous Tom Smith (Life Writing Annual) was to me when he picked me up from the cheaper flight at the Pittsburgh airport and drove me to West Virginia just so that I could afford the trip to that conference on a graduate student budget. We kept in touch for years after that and joked about that long drive and the life writing conversations we had as two strangers who met minutes before getting in the car.
It’s truly like having godparents who are part of your family but also stand around you in a much larger circle that holds you up and keeps you plugged into the world in a way that is both inside-out and outside-in. It’s hard to explain what I mean, but it feels like since finding this community, I’ve been a part of an on-going mentoring – one that doesn’t stop just because I earned a PhD, found a job, or was granted tenure.
That support keeps going – like the support of your inner circle – and keeps you accountable to your potential at every level, which is a very outside-in kind of awareness and encouragement that we all need all the time. Often, people come to expect that one needs less and less mentoring as a career progresses. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Orly: Your story models a genuine exchange of ideas. It’s this ideal that we all have about what scholarship can be like. And this — IABA — is perhaps the only setting where I see it actually taking place, in such direct and sustained ways.
Lisa: It goes on taking shape as we sit here. And I hadn’t known anything like that before, certainly not with someone who was a leading scholar in their field. I’m sitting here talking to you about it and once again I get energized and excited (even my body language changes, suddenly I don’t feel so tired after a full day of panels). That summer — in West Virginia — I met Joe and Becky (Hogan, long time editors of a/b: Auto/Biography Studies) who ended up publishing my first essay and inviting me to share my first review, Tim helped me setup my first opportunity to interview, and so it continued... It was that summer when I was probably halfway through my graduate program, and to this day the reciprocity continues, because I can walk into a conference and Sid (Smith) can say “where have you been, why didn’t you go to Banff, why didn’t you come to Puerto Rico?” and I’ll know that I’m still on her radar, and still part of a community. Julia (Watson) supported me not too long ago on a publication.
And now, with Tim (Dow Adams) gone, I was given the opportunity to talk about him and what his mentorship meant to me for a brief memorial during the [2015 IABA Americas] conference in Ann Arbor when he was honored. Tim was one of the most generous mentors ever. No question was ever too foolish and no idea was ever too ambitious. He let me go on and on when we talked. He and his wife, Gail, made me feel so welcome at times when I was surrounded by people I barely knew. I keep thinking back to that memory of first being invited to be a part of a conversation, being asked to come and sit in the front of the room instead of fade in the background because I was a shy student.
To see it happen, to be on the listserv when people started to talk about the first (IABA) conference, seeing the first pictures; that’s probably what it was like for everyone during the 70s and 80s to see the first printed issues of a/b: Auto/Biography Studies, the ones that we now tend to think of in an archival form, and how many others there are today that we all enjoy subscribing to and contributing to.
Orly:one of the things that resonated for the three of us — Emma, Maria and myself — was the moment we came up with this really half-baked idea to create a graduate network. I say half baked because the SNS came up after we all clicked in Banff and Maria sends us a message a couple of weeks later, saying “so I’ve been wanting to do this crazy thing for a while, and I think you two might be the people to do it with”. That started a few weeks of Skype sessions where we end up going back to the idea that we want to be a part of the future of this community and invite more people in the early stages of their careers to join us. At that point we were like “ok, let’s create a vision statement, think about a couple of projects we can do without money, send it to the IABA directive and see what they say”; and the moment we sent it we got such an incredible response, which took up our idea with genuine reciprocity and accountability. Immediately Craig Howes said ”yes, you can use the Listserv”... and that’s the thing, there is a response; an actual dialogue and investment.